In life, there are moments when you’re given an opportunity, and you step into it with confidence, ready to deliver. You’ve prepared for it, put in the time and effort, and you’re ready to show what you’re made of. But even in those moments, something can take you by surprise—an unexpected obstacle you didn’t anticipate. For me, it wasn’t an external challenge, but an internal one: the weight of judgment.
This happened during a leadership seminar I was invited to lead at a distribution plant in Toronto. I wasn’t there to prove anything to anyone. I’d been consulting and leading groups for decades, and I knew I had the skills and experience to excel. But what I didn’t expect was that I would be judged—simply because of the color of my skin.
The judgment actually began weeks and months before my arrival. The team had seen my picture and name beforehand, and I knew that some of them, predominantly white males, were questioning my capabilities, not based on my work or background, but based solely on preconceived ideas. These doubts weren’t expressed outright, but I could sense them in the air as I walked into the room. I wasn’t there to convince anyone of my worth; I was there to do the job I had been hired to do.
As I began my presentation, I was in my element. I delivered with precision and confidence, knowing that the content I was presenting was valuable and that I was more than capable of leading the group. Halfway through day two, however, one of the participants pulled me aside during a break. In the privacy of the restroom, he confided in me that many in the room had initially questioned my ability to lead—simply because I was Black.
I won’t lie; hearing this was a hard moment. It stung. But I didn’t let it derail me. In that instant, I knew I could either allow their judgment to cloud my confidence and affect my performance or I could rise above it, focus on what I was there to do, and prove them wrong. I chose the latter.
Lesson 1: Don’t Let Prejudices Affect Your Performance
The moment I was confronted with the prejudices in the room, I had two choices: react emotionally, or ignore it and stay focused on my work. I knew that if I allowed their biases to affect me, I wouldn’t perform to the best of my ability. So, I shut out the negativity. The best way to overcome judgment is to continue to perform at your highest level, regardless of how others may perceive you.
Lesson 2: Focus on What You Can Control
In any situation where judgment arises, the only thing you can control is your response. I couldn’t control how others saw me, but I could control how I delivered my presentation. I focused solely on what I had come there to do: teach and lead. The more I concentrated on my task, the less I was affected by external distractions.
Lesson 3: Believe in Your Capabilities
When people doubt you or question your abilities, it can shake your confidence if you let it. However, the key is to remember that you are the one who knows your capabilities best. I had been doing this work for years, and I knew my worth. I had earned my place in that room. I trusted in my experience and believed in my abilities, and that belief helped me stay grounded.
Lesson 4: Let Your Work Speak for Itself
While others may have doubted me based on their own biases, the outcome of my performance proved them wrong. At the end of the seminar, I was informed that I had received the highest approval ratings for any consultant in the company’s history. My work had spoken for itself. The lesson here is simple: let your actions and results be your proof. You don’t need to waste energy defending yourself when your work can do all the talking.
Lesson 5: Rise Above and Keep Moving Forward
In the face of adversity and judgment, it’s important to keep moving forward and focus on the bigger picture. The negativity I faced didn’t stop me from giving my best effort. In fact, it fueled me to deliver even more effectively. I chose to use the prejudice as motivation rather than allowing it to defeat me. Every day was an opportunity to prove to myself, and to the group, that I was worthy of being there.
Conclusion:
Looking back, I realize that the judgment I faced wasn’t a reflection of me, but of those who held it. I didn’t let their prejudices define me. Instead, I stayed focused, kept delivering at my highest level, and, in the end, earned the respect I deserved. My performance, not their preconceived notions, was what mattered.
In life, there will always be people who judge you, who doubt your abilities, or who try to undermine you. But remember: it’s not about their perceptions. It’s about how you see yourself, how you perform, and how you rise above. As long as you stay true to your abilities, your actions will speak for themselves—and that’s all that truly matters.
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